figment.

the verve.

Taking theatre has been such a breath of fresh air! On any regular day I would be whatever about school, counting down the minutes. The people in class are so welcoming and the vibe is wonderful. I feel the need to be creative igniting inside of this little body. ^_^ I can't wait to attend plays at the end of the month. I must admit that I was stressed about the direction my life was taking but I'm going to plan as least as possible. I'm already experiencing things I never imagined I would. At the end of the day I want to be a nurse but taking theatre is what I need in my life. KPL has opened my heart to once strangers and now my heart warms when I see my girls. They've portrayed a love that I didn't think existed with the female specie. I'm in love with them. <3 The days are full and the nights are lonely but life has uplifted me off the ground again...it is simply profound.

life.

Why do I always put my heart in front of every thing? I allow it to idle me, letting it distract me from my goals. AHH!!! Well, having rid that, I keep wondering about this road I'm on. If I really work that hard, is the life I want within reach? Will it be enough? Am I enough? I haven't a clue. I will no longer have certain issues to worry about or love affairs to fix. Despite all that I hear all around me and what others pry themselves into, I only want one thing. Success. 2010 will be the beginning to that start.

beat up.

I don't have anything left to give. Each time it's taken a piece of me until there wasn't any left. Each time I gave a little more and a little more. My heart is exhausted. No more. I want to but it just can't take anymore of anything.

restless.

Ridiculous Unreasonable Passionate & True Love.

my realm.

I love listening to the piano compositions that Carter Burwell did for Twilight. It takes me to another world that I get engulfed in...my happy place. The only way I know how to refer it so others can understand is "getting dark." I don't feel dark but when others see me, they think I'm down. It's okay, they don't need to understand this state of being as long as I want to be there. It's weird sometimes seeing life in different dimensions but as long as I can go back it's okay. I wish I could stay in this realm but life won't let me right now. Call it a fantasy world or just something another could never understand.

The only lightness that exists is from the sky after it's just rained, still cloudy. The purity of love and positivity is the only thing that exists. Even when making love, the intensity is so great and heartfelt you feel like you're communicating with the soul of that person. Running through the fields of God's green earth stepping in crisp grass.The smell of fresh air piercing through your nose and pores, the wind dancing with your hair. Sounds of acoustic guitars and piano fill the air. Drinking fresh brewed coffee in brown mugs near the fireplace writing, reading, and good conversations. Contentment. Content with who you are, what you've accomplished in life, having someone complete you in ways you never knew was void. The depth of love is so deep you would protect them against anything, be partners in everything, and loving so hard, hurting one another just isn't possible.

This is MY world. This is where I get lost.

released.

This week is going to be a hectic but a wonderful one! From exams to "special engagements" to club events to coming back home and the Blink 182 concert. I am going to be exhausted but this is what I live for. Knowledge, positivity, love, headbanging, and adventure. Let's do this!!!!

pink socks.

I feel soo blessed to be here and have these remarkable people in my life. *sigh* If you knew where I was coming from and the living conditions I was forced to abide to, you would understand. I come from a place of discouragement, plastic, negativity, backstabbing, shallowness. I've met people of different sorts to know what a gem looks like. The list goes on but the point is that I am so thankful that God has placed these people in my life. One in particular has shown me love in a different form that I've been searching for since I can remember. Nali, I just wanted to write about you and tell you that you're soo awesome. You always take the time to invite and bring me along because I suppose you know I'm new here. It's nothing but positivity and laughter when we hang :D. It's so refreshing to have positive people in my life! I guess that's what you kind of are, fresh air. I've always wondered why I've never found someone that is genuine and open-hearted that could return the friendship I was willing to give. Sometimes you can just meet someone and know you'll be friends forever. I feel that way with you =) SO to sum up all the mushy stuff, I love you and I think you are one in million!
Love Love Love <3

study. no, really this time.

So, I missed class again, the same one to be exact from last week. I'm a bit disappointed in myself because I took my eye off of what my purpose was in being here. I said I came here to work so that is what I shall do.
Textbook orders.
Bank.
Grocery shopping.
meeting.
& studying. Intensive studying.
What wouldn't I do for this...

outside.

I should smile because I deserve to. So, I will =)